Daisy and Gretchen

Being MIA from the household lends itself to a completely absurd set of routines that only my wife is lucky enough to witness. An overnighter in San Diego (i.e. tonight) is a perfect opportunity to share the experiences I have compiled from past business related trips and is strictly limited to hearsay.

Pacing, staring at the door, and incessant whining manage to fill what would normally be a completely different set of scheduled pacings, starings, and whinings. And that is definitely worth elaborating on at a different time, but as a teaser Gretchen is by far carrying a heart of cesium and functions as a canine atomic clock that can define Coordinated Universal Time.  As I said in the opener, Daisy and Gretchen have a routine and as creatures of habit are wholly unable to settle down for the evening during my absence. 

While I relax in room 218, my wife on the other hand has been reduced to an automaton whose function is to blurt at regular intervals the first names of our German shorthairs. This effort to restore order continues to fail until bedtime as the borg-esque Daisy and Gretchen purport “resistance to whining is futile.” Although the need to quell the two’s actions diminishes once all retire to bed, there still exists the nighttime plea for quiet as apparently all normal sounds have been magnified by a factor of 10 and Daisy cannot help but bark a word of warning. 

A rather poor night’s sleep Heather will have, but the tradeoff is a set of what we term portable personal heaters, PPH, that will curl up as close as possible and continue to make contact for the duration of the dark. A most efficient method of heating that will keep her warm on a cool winter’s night. 

However, upon my return tomorrow the two shorthairs feeling abandoned will stick to me as their confidence returns and I will in turn be the one graced with a set of PPHs.